Almost four months have passed since my last post and I can say with confidence that I am glad I have not written a thing. I've composed several letters to my God in a notebook that I keep, but I've found nothing that I could share with you that would retain any sort of substantial worth. Nevertheless, God works in marvelous ways, as He always does, and opened up His Word to me fully and completely this morning.
Upon recently listening to a sermon about forgiveness, taught out of the Book of Philemon, I made the decision to study the book for myself, verse by verse. For those who don't know, this letter was written by Paul while he was imprisoned, and it was addressed to a man by the name of Philemon. A former slave of Philemon, who went by the name of Onesimus, stole money and ran away from his master to Rome where he could disappear into the Imperial capital's non-descriptive slave population. He went on to meet the apostle Paul in Rome where he (Onesimus) later became a christian. In short, this letter was written lovingly by Paul to Philemon, telling him of how Onesimus had changed his wicked ways and asked him to take back Onesimus not as a slave, but more than that. Paul asked Philemon to take him back as a beloved brother that they might minister together, side by side. (Philemon 1:16)
While I read this story I was consistently reminded of my relationship with myself and with God. I'm not fearful to admit that I have messed up, and that I continue to let down the people that I love on a daily basis. I've stolen things from people which cut deeper than merely taking physical possessions. I've robbed people of their joy, and abandoned them while they had resentment harboring in their hearts. Upon several other wretched acts, I've robbed people of seeing what a true and honest example of what a follower of Christ should look like. Instead, I've cloaked the world around me and used it to define who I was when things became difficult. Inadvertently I ran away from the One who sanctifies me daily so that I myself could attempt to deal with my own troubled spirit. Fortunately, my one true master who knows far better than I lives within me and never fails to call me back home to Him.
Paul wrote this to Philemon on Onesimus' behalf, "If then you regard me a partner, accept him (Onesimus) as you would me. But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account." (Philemon 1:17 &18)
In this passage, Paul offered to pay whatever was necessary for Onesimus to be reconciled to Philemon once again. Paul was simply following the example of Christ and how He reconciled sinners to The Lord. To know that Christ has written on my behalf to The Lord so that I may be reconciled unto Him, The King of Kings, makes me desire to become more like Christ.
One last point and then I'll finish. In the 15th verse of Philemon, Paul states, "For perhaps he (Onesimus) was for this reason separated from you (Philemon) for a while, that you would have him back forever."
In this verse, Paul suggests that God providentially ordered the overturning of Onesimus' running away to produce eventual good. I always have and always will believe that everything happens for a greater purpose. God will place tests in our lives not to tempt us, (for God cannot tempt) but to strengthen the quality of our faith and demonstrate its validity. (James 1:2-12) When life seems difficult, or impossible to handle, it shouldn't drag us down with it. Instead, we need to see every hardship as a blessing, and reinforce our faith and strengthen our walk with The Lord. You can't do this by running away to a place where you can disappear into the blend of the world. We validate our faith in God by running to Him in our darkest hour; despite how bleak the circumstances may be, or how embarrassing it is to run to Him who knows all things. Oddly enough, there is nothing more satisfying than breaking in the arms of God and knowing that He will, piece by piece, put you back together even more complete than you were before.
As always, go serve your King!
Billie Jean
